What am i suppose to do...can't drink or smoke or fap?

soo...my girlfriend wants to have a baby. We are both in our mid twenties and i want one too. Usually when i come home from work i have a few beers, smoke a couple cigarettes and masturbate (if she's not home or not in the mood) She read all this baby shlt in the bookstore and now she says i cant drink, i cant fap, and i cant smoke. What the hell am I suppose to do now? I love getting hammered once in awhile....hardcore porn is my favorite hobby and smoking relaxes me (not pot, cigarettes)